Celebrating International Women's Day, Havering Triathlon Club are celebrating the women in our club. We are club with 124 members of which 36 are women who are either looking to complete their first triathlon or are training to complete anything from a super, sprint, olympic, mid or full distance triathlon and we all support each other!

One of our members, Michelle Majique McCullough has very kindly agreed to share her story of why she chose to join Havering Tri and her aim to complete a triathlon despite fighting a constant daily battle with ill health. A big thank you for Michelle for taking the time to write her story, it is both an inspirational and moving read.

It just over a year now since I joined Havering Triathlon Club. A decision I made after drinking way too much Prosecco at the HTC awards ceremony that I attended with my husband Adam. I decided at that point that I was invincible and proceeded to tell everybody there that I was going to do a triathlon despite being registered disabled with a bunch of complex conditions. Who is this weird drunk stranger and where did she come from you all must have thought. If I chewed your ear off that night, I apologise!

Well I stuck to my guns and joined the most wonderfully supportive bunch of people I have come across. I honestly thought I wouldn’t be accepted. I thought a major requirement would be that I would need to be an athlete or have already completed several races. Definitely not someone living with chronic pain, has major organ issues, who’s blood pressure drops without warning and joints that dislocate daily amongst other weird and wonderful symptoms, but here I am!

I wasn’t always disabled. Ten years ago I was a Senior Street Youth Development worker working in gang culture, developing youth projects and facilitating young people in extreme sports. In my spare time I was a fire dancer. I adored my job and bragged how I got paid for doing something I loved. Then one day it all came crashing down.

I was coming to the end of my usual two mile walk to work when my legs began to tingle and burn. I was suddenly overcome with exhaustion and didn’t think I would make it to work even though I was only a few metres away. I clung on to a nearby fence feeling my leg muscles weakening. As the pain seared through my legs I looked down to see where I might fall. All I could see was dog pooh underneath me. There is no way I’m going to fall on that I thought! I pulled everything I had and stumbled to my works entrance. Once through the door I collapsed screaming in pain. That was the last time I walked unaided for six years.

I had numerous scans and tests which at first showed as inconclusive. I was now mainly bed bound and a wheelchair user with one per cent muscle tone in the left side of my body, zero in my right. My joints were so weak I dislocated several times a day. Even sneezing would result in a body part dislocating. I was told I may never walk again. I hated this idea and focused on getting a diagnosis. My theory was get diagnosed, get fixed!

Being the impatient woman that I am I cashed in my savings and went private. I was diagnosed with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome (EDS) Hypermobility type. Basically my collagen is faulty causing my joints and ligaments to become lax and weak resulting in dislocations or subluxations (partial dislocations). I have since developed several other complications due to EDS which include Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome, Small Fibre Neuropathy, Gastroparesis, bladder and bowel dysfunction and Fibromyalgia, the list goes on . Long story short before lockdown id have a hospital appointment at least once a week, I have seven specialists, every system in my body is compromised so nothing in my body works properly. All my conditions are life long but not life limiting so I’m grateful.

Finding out I couldn’t be fixed after my diagnosis’s I focused on a new theory. If my joints were loose then building muscle around them would keep them in place thus stop them from popping out. I can fix myself!

I started with bed Pilates that I got from YouTube. Once I built my core muscles I was able to sit up in bed and work on my limbs. Adam would help me get out of bed and walk me to another room, then the garden, then to the end of the street. There were many tears, dislocations, tantrums and fireman carries back to bed but it was working! My muscles were waking up and starting to hold my joints together resulting in less daily dislocations. In six years I went from a year bed bound, two years in a wheelchair, Zimmer frame, two crutches, one crutch then no disability aids at all!! I was far from fixed, but I was walking unaided!

Being mobile again is important to me. I still suffer greatly and am very limited to what I can do. I also have frequent bed bound days and dust off my specially made Smartcrutches to minimise wrist dislocations. For me my mobility means I have a tiny degree of control over my conditions. Being ridiculously active, then immobile overnight is hard to cope with mentally. People tell me I’m inspirational for teaching myself to walk, I think I am just desperately bloody minded and probably in denial of my disabilities. I was definitely in denial at HTC awards ceremony!

Putting myself forward for a triathlon is pretty dangerous without strong planning as so much can go wrong for me. Just after I joined HTC I discussed my plan with my GP and some of my specialists. Some were horrified, some were bemused. However once I’d shared with them my basic but realistic training plan, the expert advice from HTC and physical support from my personal first aider they all agreed I was in safe hands. My personal first aider is my husband Adam AKA my hero. He will compete next to me to observe and act on any complications. He will help me in and out of my wetsuit, strap me up in transition area and pull me out completely if he feels I’m endangering myself. If you compete in the same triathlon as me and receive a mild bump by Adam, please don’t take offence. He is paving a free path for me to avoid injury.

I really have had some invaluable advice from HTC members along the way. The support I have received and enthusiasm for me to achieve has humbled and inspired me. My appreciation to you guys is endless.

Training for a triathlon has been interesting. I have to adapt most exercises to suit my ability. Obviously PBs are out the question. I’m just looking to finish! I can’t build on strength and stamina as with most chronic conditions each day is different. My blood pressure can drop leaving me susceptible to fainting episodes, or I might not be able to relocate my dislocations properly and tear tendons. If I have a flare up I can decondition to a devastating degree within a few days.

Running is out the question. I will never run again, but I am able to walk strapped up. Swimming is tricky as waves can and have popped many joints. I’m hoping a wetsuit will hold me together. The recent pandemic has stopped my wetsuit experiment. If it doesn’t work, I will just have to downgrade to a Duathlon. But it’s not an option I want to make.

The best discovery I made is that I can ride a bike without causing too much injury. I don’t mind sharing that I cry sometimes. The experience of almost pain free mobility overwhelms me. I’ve been known to cry happy tears just talking about it. I get a taste of the old me and it feels incredible! I aim to build myself up enough to join in on a ride outside with you guys. Plenty of tissues for me on that day!

Sadly Covid restrictions put a stop to all our events. Then contracting Covid at Christmas put a stop to my training. I know I am lucky to still be here and not need medical intervention. My specialist explained that all his clients with my complex conditions either ended up in hospital care or died. I can’t describe how i felt after that bombshell. Shocked, confused, survivors guilt, grateful to be alive, all of those and more. We both believed my increased fitness levels played a key roll. It’s so important to keep moving. However since contracting Covid I’ve struggled as the virus has exasperated my conditions causing all sorts of mayhem and deconditioned my body to extreme lengths.

Each time I tried to be active I ended up in bed for days with dislocations , increased pain , exhaustion, gastro and heart problems. I reached an all time low a month ago . I had zero interest and became completely numb to life. I knew I was not alone. We are encouraged to talk, but it’s hard when numbness consumes you including your will to speak and even the desire to cry. It’s hard to ask for help when you know everyone else is hurting too.

My saviour came in a photo that popped up on my memories on Facebook. It was a few days after I received my HTC membership. Adam took a comical photo of me posing in my freshly bought HTC swim hat and cycling top entitled “all the gear, no idea!” It reminded me of what I had achieved since joining HTC and all those years leading up to this point. I had been here before. I had been worse. I had spent over a year bed bound, taught myself to walk over several years. I can build my body again and I will. I had mentally reached my rock bottom, but that day because of that picture and the support of my family, friends and HTC members I promised myself I will try at life again.

Every Havering Tri member inspires me. I follow all your achievements. You are all such a bunch of incredibly strong, unstoppable and supportive people. I’m honoured to be a part of something so wonderful that is way more than PB’s and medals. To get back in the saddle (excuse the pun) I’ve taken part in the plank and squat challenge. I can plank, but my squats are adapted to keep my knees from sliding out. The camaraderie within the Facebook comments cracks me up. I’m slowly beginning to rebuild myself and currently able to walk a mile every few days with bed rest in between. Frustrating as hell, but moving forward nonetheless. Having recently been diagnosed with long Covid I am listening to my body, but aiming to stay out my bed more than I’m in it. The plank and squat challenge has helped that.

My aim a year ago was to complete a triathlon no matter how long it takes. That still stands. In the words of Ross Edgley “be naive enough to start it, but stubborn enough to finish it”. I’ve reawakened my stubborn. If you’re feeling rubbish find something that will reawaken yours. We got this! We can do this! We are Havering Tri. Love to you all.